It is finished!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 11, 2010 by dapithapon

August 10, 2010

IT’S PAYBACK TIME!

What happened in the ‘past’ was a nightmare! The enemy meant it for evil, but my God meant it for good. I have seen how God worked in my life, I’ve seen His wonders, His glory, His power, but just like the stance of the Israelites in the wilderness, it was as if I had amnesia. Forgetting how good my God was, and my God is.

Many times, I hear Him… His small still voice.  People around me called me blessed and ‘anointed’ as they see how God work in my life.

God enables, and that is the courage that makes me move to lead His people in worship.  I know deep within that I touched His heart, but not to be compared with the amount as He touches mine.

Days passed, God made me realized that as much as I wanted to be near Him, the enemy also wants to be near me. ‘he’ tries to snatch me away from the palm of my Father. ‘he’ always sets a trap for me to go back ‘his’ ways. ‘he’ makes my life miserable, trying to weaken my faith.

Yes, I failed! Well in fact, many times I failed. But my God doesn’t stop loving me. He never gets tired embracing me. Always been there wiping away my tears. The enemy reminds me of my past, but my God tells me what life’s ahead with Him. He reminds me of my place as His treasured possession, and so I am His. Satan tries to destroy me and puts me down. But my Father in heaven builds me up and dreams brighter future for me.

Never again that this life will be used for your dark plans! I say ‘NO!’ to you! I declare that you are beaten in my life in the name of Jesus! I am victorious and you are defeated! Because of the cross I am able to live a holy life! A life that is pleasing to my God! This heart of mine belongs to Jesus! This body is the temple of His Spirit. This mind is set to do only His will and His purpose in my life. I am living for Him, because He died for me!

It’s payback time! No longer your ways nor my own ways… But I’ll do it God’s way! No longer your desire nor the desire of my flesh, but I’m after on what His desire for me! Enough is enough! I declare Jesus is Lord upon my life, upon my family, and upon my loved ones!

As I submit to the authority of my Father in heaven… I declare you powerless Satan!  This life will only give glory to my One true GOD, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ!!!

So true! Thousand years ago, “IT IS FINISHED!”

John 19:30

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Totoo nga bang nababayaran ang Media?

Posted in Uncategorized on May 4, 2010 by dapithapon

Caution: Ang sumulat ay supporter ni Bro. Eddie (pangunahan ko na)

Alam kong maselan ang topic na ‘to. But because my heart is crying out for change; ako’y magsasalita gamit ang aking panulat kalakip ang ‘limitado’ kong kaisipan at pang-unawa.

Mas kilala sa tawag na envelopmental journalism o payola;


This is a practice where journalists are given money in envelopes so they would write favorable reports about a certain person. Envelopmental journalism is practiced by corrupt and greedy journalists! Sa sarili kong version; mga mamamahayag na makasarili, mapagsamantala at traydor sa sinumpaang tungkulin!

Hayaan nyo muna po akong magkwento;

Isa sa mga bagay kaya pinasok ko ang larangang ito ay dahil bilib ako sa mga taong may prinsipyo at may dignidad sa sarili. Nong unang panahon, panahon pa ng aking buhay estudyante ay nakapasok ako at ‘nakapag-trabaho’ bilang isang field reporter sa isang kilalang broadsheet. Na-enjoy ko talaga ‘yon! Nakikipaghabulan ka sa pulis, sunog, wanted, suspect at kung kani-kanino pa, para lang makakalap ng balita. Dahil nga baguhan, natuto akong makipaghalubilo don sa mga reporter na talagang gamay na ang ganong uri ng trabaho. Tinanong ko minsan yung isang writer ng tabloid;

“Kuya, curious ako, bakit don sa interview nila SPO2___ hindi ka pinapasok?”

Sagot niya; “Wala kasi akong dalang ‘pasalubong’ kay sir.”

Matic na ‘yan! Akala ko dati, kwentong barbero lang ang korapsyon sa media. Nangyayari palang talaga sa totoong buhay!

May isa pang scenario: Isang pulis na hiningan ko ng scoop

“Sir pwede bang makuha yung totoong pangalan nong bumaril don sa biktima?”

“Taga san ka ba? Baka naman small time ka, sayang naman ang laway ko.”

Ang choosy ni Sir! Eddie buong ‘pagpupugay ko namang sinabi kung taga saang dyaryo ako, matapatan ko lang ng konti ang yabang nya kahit na alam kong mali ang pumatol.

“Taga Philippine__ po.”

“Ah ganun ba, halika sa loob at makapag-kape muna”

Biruin nyo ‘yon! Tsk tsk tsk.

Ang siste, kung hindi ikaw ang maglalagay, ikaw ang lalagyan, depende sa kalidad o lasa na meron ka. ‘Pag ok ka at may sinabi sa iniikutan mong karera , apple of the eye ka nila.

Marami pa ‘kong experiences at kwento pero hindi ko nalang sasabihin. Isang bagay, nakita, naramdaman at nasaksihan ko ang kalakalan sa loob… Kahit papano, naranasan ko ang sistema kahit sabihin pang mga mata at kanang kamay ko lang ang nakapasok.

At sa totoo lang, may ilang mga reporter na nakikipag-date pa sa mga may posisyon para lang maka-scoop! Hindi ko naranasan… may takot naman ako sa Lord. Pero aaminin ko, may nagtangka.

Ito yung mga panahon na nagtatanong na ‘ko sa Panginoon; “Tama po kaya ang kursong kinuha ko?”

Ano nga bang dahilan at naisulat ko ang blog na ito? O sige aaminin ko na; Medyo tumataas ang kilay ko sa ayos ng media ngayong eleksyon! Parang may kinikilingan at may kinakampihan! Serbisyong sila-sila lamang!

The Philippine Press Institute (PPI), an association of newspaper publishers, established guidelines to its 97 member organizations on covering the 1998 presidential elections. The guidelines were explicit.

•Newsrooms were to pay their way. That meant, shouldering the cost of coverage during the election campaign and count, including dining out sources for stories, airfare, hotel accommodation, per diems, and operation expenses of staff members.
•Journalists were prohibited from accepting cash or gifts in kind from politicians and political parties and from moonlighting with political parties.
•The institute also issued a stern warning to journalists to beware of surveys.

*In the 2004 elections , the PPI failed to reissue the guidelines on the need to remain ethical and incorruptible during the election season.

The Philippine Center of Investigative Journalism (PCIJ) polled 59 reporters from leading Metro Manila-based national newspapers and radio and television stations that covered the five presidential candidates. In the course of their coverage, 20 or half of the campaign reporters said they were offered money by candidates, political parties and other sources, from once to as many as 20 times. The offer of money was made mostly to radio and broadsheet reporters and less often to television. Out of the 29 reporters who were offered money, 10 often or slightly more than a third said they took the money. By medium, more tabloid reporters (50%) took the money than radio reporters (43%), television reporters (40%) and broadsheet reporters (25%).

Nine of the 10 reporters who took the money said they did so even when their newsrooms set aside budget for covering the elections. All but one of the 10 reporters insisted that taking the money did not affect the way they wrote the story because they said they did not ask the money, no conditions were attached to the gift of money, they stuck to their principles and they always got the other side to balance the story.

Ayon ‘yan sa pag-aaral ng PCIJ. (Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism) Isang instutusyon na bumabalanse sa galaw ng media. Subok ang prinsipyo ng institusyon na ‘yan! Bakit nga ba hindi, e ‘yan ang thesis ng grupo namin noong college. “Watching the watchdog” (nag-promote pa ng thesis)

Hindi ko man nilalahat, pero ang daming questionable sa paghahayag nila ng balita ngayong eleksyon. Gusto kong maging specific; sa mga presidentiables.

Si Noynoy nahilo; balita.
Si Bro. Eddie napagkasundo ang dalawang magkalaban na tribo ng Muslim; walang balita.
Si Gibo nakipag-date sa kanyang kabiyak; balita. (frontpage pa)
Rally ni Bro. Eddie milyon ang supporters! (time running 17-secs kulang pa sa facts!)
Si Villar may sariling game show sa dalawang estasyon (tahimik ang lahat)
Si Bro. Eddie bumisita sa isang questionableng religious leader (umingay ang lahat)

Well… siguro nga biased ako. Bahala na kayong mag-judge. Wala kasing pambayad ng mamahaling Ads si Bro. Eddie. Wala syang perang pantapat sa mga tumatakbong kandidato. Ang prinsipyo nya kasi ay hindi for sale, kaya naman ayaw nya ring bumili ng prinsipyo ng iba.

Kahit alam kong imposibleng marinig ako ng mga taong tinutukoy ko, ang mahalaga ay naipahayag ko ang saloobin ko;

Excuse me po!

– Ang prinsipyo ay hindi nabibili sa palengke!
– Ang pera sa envelope ay nauubos!
– Hindi eleksyon taon taon!
– Kaya nga news ang salitang news ay dahil laging bago! Luluma rin ang balita mo!
– Mas maigi nang matulog kaysa magsulat ng sobra at kulang!

Ayan, ok na ‘ko! Hindi po ako galit. Sumisigaw lang ng pagbabago!!!

kalakip ang pagluhod at pagsusumamo sa habag ng ating Panginoon;

-dapithapon

SABAY NAMAN TAYO…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 12, 2009 by dapithapon

mah boots
Di ko alam kung pano isasa-panulat ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Halu-halong emosyon. Pinapasok ang sistema ko ng mga bagay-bagay sa paligid. Bagay na pwede namang hindi ko makita, pero hindi maiiwasang hindi ko maramdaman. Parang lahat sa paligid ko blangko. May kulay naman ang iba, pero malamlam ang kahulugan ng bawat liwanag.

Pinamanhid na yata ako ng mga bagay na pinag-daanan ko. Pero baka maling impresyon lang ng pagiging malakas ko sa mga bagay na mahina ako. Alam ko namang hindi permanente ang lahat sa mundong kasalukuyang ginagalawan ko. Ang nakakatawa lang, gusto kong pabilisin ang ikot ng mga bagay-bagay. Sa sobrang sanay na ko sa walang permanente, kinakain na ‘ko ng kasabikan don sa mga susunod.

Ang hirap pala talaga kapag walang konkretong landas kang tatahakin. Yung tipong alam mo ang daan palabas, pero hindi mo naman alam kung saan ang simula. Sino pa kaya sa bawat hakbang ko ang sasabay? Baka naman maiwan ko rin sila, o kaya naman ay maiwan nila ako dahil din sa pagmamadali.

Sa kabila ng kalmadong dagat, may mumunting alon pa rin na nagpapatangay sa mahinahong ihip ng hangin. Nagpupumilit makarating don sa dalampasigan bitbit ang kakaunting lakas na meron. Nag-nanais na mahalikan ang buhangin, gustong mag-iwan ng marka.

Ngunit matapos ang marahang paghalik sa buhanging nagihihintay, mawawala narin.  Yun ang dulo ng lahat. Yun na ang katapusan. Malayo man ang paglalakbay na tinahak, matatapos rin ang lahat. Ngunit ang kagandahan, hindi man pangmatagalan, may saysay naman, dahil nag-iwan ng makabuluhang kahulugan.

Alam Mo pong wala akong ibang nais. Yung makita Ka lang, mahawakan, masulyapan, makasabay. Aaminin ko…. Ang hirap. Ang dami Mo kasing kinukuha sa’kin.. pero pumayag naman ako kaya wala akong karapatang mag-reklamo. Ang akin lang, tigib na kasi ako sa kakakaway na mapansin Mo. nakatingin Ka nga ng may pag-ibig sa’kin, pero nasasaktan naman ako ng todo. Pero sige lang… kung dyan ako lalago… kung dyan kita makikilala… kung yan lang yung tanging paraan para makasama kita, makalaro, mahalikan, masilayan… titiisin ko lahat.. Basta samahan Mo ‘ko.

Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nagtiis ganung kaya ko namang piliin yung daan na madali. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa kabila ng pagtanggi Mo sa mga nais ko at sa sigaw ng puso ko… Ikaw pa rin ang hinahanap ko, Ikaw pa rin ang nais kong malugod. Hindi ko alam, pero hawak Mo lahat-lahat sa’kin.

May choice naman akong umatras at wag nang lumaban eh… Ang kaso lang hindi ko yun pipiliin kasi alam kong wala Ka ron. Maaring makita ko nga ang iba ron, maaring makasama ko nga sila.. pero wala ka naman… para san pa?

Minsan, lumalaban ako hindi para Sa’yo, pero Ikaw… sugatan Kana, inilalaban Mo pa rin ako. Hindi Ka pa rin sumusuko sa’kin.  Hindi Mo naman pinipilit yung pag-ibig Mo, pero patuloy kong tinatakbuhan, patuloy kong tinatakasan. Ang kaibahan Mo, sa kabila ng lahat, pagtakbo ko palapit Sa’yo yayakapin Mo ulit ako. Pati yung mga mali ko inaako Mo, yakag Mo lahat ng mabibigat na dala-dala ko.

Sa kabila ng lito kong isip… patuloy kang bumubulong ng kapayapaan sa gitna ng ingay sa paligid. Ganito nalang, Ikaw na ang masunod.  Bahala Kana… ‘pag kinuha ko pa rin yung karapatang para Sa’yo lang… pakiusap, kunin mo ulit. Wala akong karapatang humawak ng ano mang bagay na hindi ko kayang pahalagahan. Pero Ikaw, alam kong kayang-kaya Mo yon.

Paulit-ulit man pero hinahayaan kong Ikaw… oo Ikaw, ang syang mangalaga at kumalinga sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko. Lalo na dito sa puso ko.  Nakakahiya mang sumuko, pero alam kong kailangan… At alam kong yun lang ang tanging paraan. Handa na ‘ko. Samahan Mo ‘ko. Ayoko na ng mag-isa. Hesus sabay naman tayo…

Malalim. Malawak. Makahulugan.

Posted in Uncategorized on October 31, 2009 by dapithapon

 

(my pen writes to a certain forum discussion)

Walang sino mang tunay na nagmamalasakit ang ilalagay tayo sa alanganin…

Ibilang mo ‘ko sa kabataang nagpasaway dahil sa kagustuhan lang subukan…

Walang kinahinatnang maganda. Naging magulo lang ang takbo ng mundo naming dalawa. Ang daming apektado, ministry pati na rin trabaho. Natutuhan ko na wala pa ‘kong karapatang pumasok sa isang relasyon kasi hindi ko alam ang tunay na kahulugan at lalim ng salitang PAG-IBIG. Lumabas akong luhaan… sugatan.

Mga bagay na aking pinag-basihan:

DAPAT NASA TAMANG EDAD- I’m on the right age. Pero bakit failed?

FINISH YOUR STUDIES FIRST- Tapos na ‘kong mag-aral at may stable na work na rin. Pero bakit ‘di nag-workout?

DAPAT KRISTIYANO- Parehas din naman kaming Kristiyano ah..

MATURITY COUNTS- Base on our leaders and mentors we’re both in the process of maturity.

-Hindi lang kasi don yon nagtatapos… maaring ang mga bagay na ‘to ang maging basehan natin pero hindi yun ang pinaka pundasyon.

Lumaki ako sa church… naririnig ko ang kahulugan ng pag-ibig. Pero kinalakihan ko lang… hindi ko naman pala naunawaan.

Pakiusap, alam kong alam niyo na ang Bible passage na ‘to, pero gusto ko pa ring basahin at unawain nyo…

In the name of Jesus I speak understanding and God’s anointing upon reading this Word!

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud, or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

 Matagal ko nang alam ang salitang ‘yan… Pero kailanman hindi ko na-apply ang malalim na kahulugan. Hindi ako naging responsable… Hindi ako tumayo sa tama.

Ang salitang pag-ibig ay kaakibat ng salitang responsibilidad.

‘Wag mong subukang kunin kung hindi mo kayang alagaan at ingatan. ‘Wag mong sayangin, mas magiging maganda ang bunga kung nahinog sa tamang panahon. Mas matamis. Mas makabuluhan.

PAGTITIWALA- Hindi sa nararamdaman mo, o sa nararamdaman ng taong sinasabi mong mahal mo. Kundi pagtitiwala sa kahusayan ng Panginoon na sumulat ng magandang kwento ng pag-ibig para sa’yo.

I must die…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 8, 2009 by dapithapon

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Septemberseventwothousandandnine

I MUST DIE

…and since we died with Christ, we know that we will also live with Him. –Rom 6- 8

It’s kinda hard to let go of the things that you are used to do. It’s quite tough to just loosen up your pride and allow brokenness in your heart. We really have to be overtaken by His love and be transformed by His grace. That’s the surest way to grow and mature in knowing and loving Him more. Today, God made me realized lot of things… I discovered that it takes strength to admit to your self that you are weak. It takes tears to regain your happiness. It takes sorrow to be filled with joy. It takes a long walk to learn the best way. It takes pain to value the worth of something. It takes giving up to be strong. It takes kneeling down to stand firm in faith. And sometimes, you have to unlearn for you to learn the lessons of life. God wants us to be humble because He opposes the proud. He wants us to be holy because it takes holiness before we come to Him. He wants us to sow love, sacrifice, service, obedience, patience, endurance and devotion because He desires the best harvest for us. He’s after not just for our past or our present… But He’s too busy preparing for our future, allowing things to happen for a reason and for His divine purpose.

If I’m not gonna die on my selfish ambition and my selfish will… It will ruin my walk in obedience to my King. If I’m gonna hold on to the desires of my heart yet not giving room for my Lord to be delighted in me… I’m like a child praying for a puppet to have its own life. I must die so that Christ would be alive in me. I must die to my sinful ways, pride, insecurities, worries, fears, disobedience, guilt, doubt and disbelief; such things that holding me back to do better than my best. It’s no longer I that lives in this body but Christ lives in me. I am no longer the owner of myself… But just a manager that works for the Master.

I MUST LIVE

… for in Him we live and we move and exist. –Rom 17:28

Christ died for me… So I must live for Him. The way I live my life reflects the risen Savior within me. Every aspect of my whole being displays the Molder and the Shaper of my heart. Every step that I’m gonna take signifies the Light and the Lamp that guides my path. I must live not just to survive but to overcome the challenges of life. I must live so others may live in accordance to God’s will and agenda. I must live because my heart beats to do the Master’s plan. I must live not just to make a difference, but somehow be an example in character and in life. I must live until His purpose has been revealed. I must live to declare His greatness and His righteousness. I must live for a cause. I must live for His people. I must live for my family. I must live for His ministry. I must live for my country. I must live for Him and in Him. I must live to leave a legacy. I must live to give Him honor and glory. I must live… because living for Him is a must and I live because in me He trusts. And the ultimate reason why I must live… because being loved by Him is a reason itself to live.

Let us die… And so we live.

“Find us faithful Lord”

In Christ’ Service

-dapithapon-

FIND US FAITHFUL

Posted in Uncategorized on September 4, 2009 by dapithapon

From the rising of the sun till the time that it sets… find us faithful

Septemberonetwothousandandnine

Isa-isahin ko ang nangyari sa araw na ito.

Morning at 9am, CBN studio: Pastor Paji preached about the way we work for God’s glory. We should be faithful at any moment because we are to live our lives with footprints, with legacy. Without passion, there’s no energy; without energy we have nothing to give. I was really blessed by his preaching. I felt that God is talking straight from his heart to my heart.

Lunch time at 12 noon: My ate texted me that someone found my wallet and she wants to give it back to me. I was really happy for the news because God is indeed good! He proves Himself faithful at all times.

Afternoon at 2pm: My supervisor commented with love the way I worked for the past weeks. She asked me if I had a problem the previous days because of my not so good output. She reminded me that I’m not working for salary, but I’m working for the ministry. Praise God for her life… I found myself on track once again.

Evening at 7pm, Walter Mart Muñoz: Together with my Ate Liezel and Ate Cai we went to the meeting place where we gonna meet the keeper of my lost wallet. An old lady approached me and asked if I was the one she’s looking for. She’s a 55-year-old woman fighting for her life for having breast cancer. I honestly thought that maybe that’s one of her tricks for us to give her something in return. But I proved myself wrong the moment she took her clothe off, we’ve seen the wound on her left breast.  Guilty I was, she really has cancer and it’s on the 3rd stage. I prayed for her and she accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. She claimed that God is her ultimate Healer. I cried and humbly said, “Lord, salamat kasi nadukutan ako ng wallet at inadya Mo pong si Nanay ang makapulot!” I was blessed. Really blessed!

Evening at 9pm, JIL Muñoz Church: We had an open forum with the ministry heads… We opened up everything with the leaders to avoid resentment. Praise God in heavens! Everything is now on its proper place. “Mabuti talaga ang Panginoon!”

Evening at 11pm, Near Muñoz Market: Jervee and I were having a conversation at the church’s stairway when a guy from a parked jeepney shouted for help.  Kinabahan ako ng bongga. He was hit on his forehead. Pinukpok sya nong isang lalaki ng bote sa ulo! Out of curiosity and concern lumapit kami sa biktima. He was drunk kaya naman ayaw rin syang lapitan ng mga Barangay tanod sa takot na saktan sila nito. Driven with compassion we helped this man. Sabi nong mga taga barangay wala raw silang maitutulong sa biktima at di raw nila pwedeng iwan ang barangay hall. I was really embarrassed by them! Ayaw din magpadala ni kuya sa hospital… ihatid nalang daw namin sya sa bahay nila. Believe it or not magkapitbahay pa pala sila ng kasama kong si Jervee! Praise God, praise God, praise God! When we reached his house nahabag kami sa kalagayan ng asawa ni kuya, di raw sya pwede umalis ng bahay kasi may sakit ang dalawa nilang maliit na anak. Nakiusap sya sa asawa nya na pumayag nang magapadala sa hospital kasama namin dahil malalim ang tama nya sa ulo at maraming dugo narin ang nasasayang. Salamat ulit sa Panginoon nakumbinsi namin syang magtiwala at sumama sa’min! Sa general hospital namin dinala si kuya. Don lang ako nakakita ng hospital na kailangan mo munang bumili ng gamit pantahi sa ulo mo bago ka asikasuhin dahil wala raw silang reserba! Pambihira! Maraming tao sa loob ng emergency room ang nakikipag habulan kay kamatayan!

 Ang daming ipinakita sa’min ni Lord nong gabing yon. Maraming sistema ang mali! Maraming sistema ang dapat gawan ng aksyon at itama! Haaayyy… Sinabi ko nalang sa sarili ko… Darating din ang panahon na magbabago ang sistema ng bansang Pilipinas. Magiging libre rin ang pagpapagamot sa mga hospital at matututo ring manindigan yung mga nasa posisyon sa kung anong tama at kung anong dapat! Grrrr…

Going back, yun na nga… Naging successful naman awa ng Diyos ang pagtahi sa sugat ni kuya, kaya naman naihatid namin ulit sya sa kanilang bahay ng safe and sound. That time wala na ang ispiritu ng alak sa katawan ni kuya. Nakakausap na sya ng matino. Abot langit ang pagpapasalamat ni kuya at ng kanyang may bahay sa Panginoon. Sympre pa, isang pagkakataon ulit na maipanalangin sila nong oras na ‘yon. At hindi namin pinalagpas ang pagkakataon! 3 souls in one day! Glory to God!

Natapos kami sa biglaang misyon namin ni Jervee ng alaskwtro ng madaling araw. Alasingko ng umaga may dawn watch sa church… kailangan namin pumunta kagaya ng naipangako namin nong nagdaang gabi sa mga ate at kuya. Walang ligo at walang tulog naglakas loob kaming pumunta sa church. That time 24 hours ko nang suot ang office uniform ko! Nakakapagod pero sobrang rewarding ang experience! At ‘di yun kayang tapatan ng isang masarap na tulog at preskong pakiramdam ng bagong  paligo!

Sapat at sobrang pasasalamat namin sa Panginoon! Purihin ang Lord! Purihin ka Lord! Purihin ka po talaga!

Isang di malilimutang experience na ipinaranas sa’min ng Diyos! Pinag-pala kami ni Jervee nong gabing ‘yon! Isang pagpapala ang magpala ng ibang tao!

Kaya naman ang patuloy kong sinisigaw…

“find us faithful Lord!”

Alam kong mahirap… pero kailangan kong maging tapat Sa’yo sa maliit o malaking bagay man!

Ang katapatan Mo ay sapat… upang ako ay maging matapat!

Willing akong magpaturo…  Basta samahan Mo lang ako!